The world I know....

is changing so quickly. I used to be scared all the time. I used to be militantly anti-social. I would have a hard time walking half a block away to buy cigarettes. my life was RULED by fear and now......Nothing. no fear, no drama. Just...Normal. I feel so liberated. I set up one more appointment with my therapist and that's it. No more therapy. exactly 16 sessions and my life has been turned around.
Jay and Iwent on the Big Gay Cruise in Troy a few nights ago. There were a ton of people and I got smashed and had a BLAST. That night ended in such a way that I crawled into bed at 6am with a huge smile on my face. I'll refrain from going into detail because well, it's none of your damn business :-P I nearly got through the night without seeing kirnan but alas at the last moment after it was over I caught a peek at him.....apparently he went up to jay earlier in the night and said hi but ran away as soon as jay told him he was waiting for me to get out of the loo.
oh well. Didn't effect my night the way I thought it would have.....(((((((((there was a bit in here with information that jay failed to tell me was sencitive. He's asked me to censor my own fucking blog.... and I did....I'm an idiot))))))).....hmmm interesting. Some people will never change. I wonder what the rest of his life will be like..... who knows for sure but I have a pretty good guess if he doesn't grow a set soon. If weird how Jay and I were surrounded by these crazies for such a long time and now they've all moved on and fucked up more peoples lives like him and Josh who I'm told has cut EVERYONE even remotely connected to me out of his life....even his best friends Nivek and Tenelle who he cut because apparently they have been feeding me information about him behind his back....talk about paranoid delusions....I gatta get off this topic...It's bringing me down.

Jay and I have been out more in the last 2 weeks then we ever have in our lives...it's amazing and to top it all off I just got a call from Alvin (some of you know who I'm talking about some don't) who wanted to book me for an "underwear boy" at Rock's in Albany.....Imagine that...Me! a paid underwear boy :-P that's just too funny but I did accept so I'm booked! lol The last time jay and I went to the underwear party at Rock's apparently I made an impression cause I'm still hearing about it.