Alot has happened.....

So, Alot has been going on in the past few days. I'll start with the positive. The gallery opening went extremely well. Much better then I had ever expected. At one point in the night there were so many people in the gallery that it was difficult to walk around. I sold a few pieces and bought myself a brand new Kata quick draw camera bagIt's a very expensive and sought after bad. I can't believe I'm about to say this because I'm not this gay but this bag is the photographic equivalent of a Guchi or Prada bag.There are things I've seen as levels of accomplishment in my photography the first level was getting a nice Single Lens Reflex (SLR). DONE. The second level was The gallery opening. DONE The third level was getting a Kata Bag. DONE. The next step is getting an EOS AF "L" lens. These lenses go anywhere from a grand to 10 thousand dollars. They are the best lenses on the market. You know your looking at an "L" lens from Canon when you see those guys at sporting events and Nat Geo articles with those bright white lenses.

Now, on with the rest of whats been going on. some very bad shit has transpired in the past few days. The first thing that happened is Josh went bat shit crazy. I still have no idea what actually happened but one day things are perfectly fine and the next thing I know he's not talking to me. Not coming home at night and about a week and a half ago he randomly comes home after days of being missing. He ignores me for a while then asks me if he can talk to me privately (I was hanging out with Cal @ the moment). We went into my bedroom where he unfolded a type written letter that he read very coldly to me. The gist of it was that he blames me for all of his emotional/ mental issues, He's tired of me not treating him the way he wants me to and he is still in love with me and tired of me treating my boyfriends better then him. He moved out a day later and as far as I know he's dropped off the face of the earth. He refuses to associate with me or anyone that I associate with. This coming right out of the blue was a huge kick in the nuts for me. For someone who I considered a brother to burn this bridge AGAIN. Yes, AGAIN. years ago Josh went bat shit crazy and burned the bridge between us FOR THE EXACT SAME REASON! We didn't talk for years after that when all of a sudden out off the blue I get an e-mail from him explaining that he's been clean and sober for 6 months and attending NA. He apologized for everything thing he's done to me and like an idiot I believed him. An animal will always be an animal. Josh will never change unfortunately. he's the same person he was years ago....just less drugs (as far as I know) I wouldn't be a bit surprised though. as far as I'm concerned Josh no longer exists.

So that was this first crazy, insane thing that's happened to me the second transpired just 2 days ago. The night of my gallery opening. Now, The back story is important so bare with me (if your still reading) a day before his Birthday Kirnan picked a fight with his mom regarding a past birthday. That started a vicious downward spiral of negativity. The day of his birthday his mother came into his work where he continued to fight with her. He came home and as soon as he stepped through the door I was ALL ABOUT HIM. I had $45 dollars to my name at the time but I asked if he wanted to go out and get some new jeans or a new shirt...whatever he wanted. all the money I had was his if he wanted it. He didn't want to leave the house. So he starts bitching to me about his day and telling me that his back hurt so I suggested a nice back rub. I rubbed his back for about an hour and made him know that this was HIS day and anything he wanted was his for the taking. He spend the day pissy and depressed. I was understanding, I've had shitty birthdays before. I know what it's like so he goes to bed at about 8pm. He wants nothing to do with anything. Just wants the day to be over. OK, I can understand that, I tried. The following day was my gallery opening. He spend the majority of the day pissy and depressed. He dragged me down the whole day. I just wanted him to be happy. The gallery it self went well but after it was over he continued on his downward pissy spiral. I tried to talk to him with no success. He just spat venom at me and told me I didn't do enough for his birthday....Apparently I should have cleaned the house spotless before he got home. I ruined his birthday. We fight some more then I had enough. I walked out of the room and slammed the door. I was livid that he had kicked me in the nuts in such a way. so after a night of bitching to Jay about the whole ordeal I sent him a text message saying "I hope you have enough sense to apologize for what you did to me tonight". The following day Turtle and I (Turtle had flown in from New Orleans, LA to attend my show) when for a walk to get something to eat then to the photography store for a look around...I walked out with a wireless remote for "The Beast" and a Kata bag. we get back to the apartment and Kirnan is there with 80% of his shit packed up. Shortly after that his bigot, abusive father and some other guys come in to pack all his shit into their cars. He takes no blame for anything...never has, never will and as far as I'm concerned he no longer exists. He's back living with his father who BTW The first time I "met" him came up to me, looked at me and said "WOW! you look as stupid as Jon (Kirnan)" a great thing to say about your own son. The mans a racist bigot who hates his faggot son. He made his bed and now he'll sleep in it. Theres only one possible way you could redeem himself now and theres no way in hell he could physically do it. He doesn't have the emotional range. I give up. I'm sure he will spend the rest of his life running away from his problems. So it's just jay and I now. perfectly fine by me. Although it wont be that way for too long. My brother William is moving in within the month a picture's worth a thousand words.....let this one soak in for a bit.