Long Over Due Post

Ok, so most of you already know that I'm home now and most of you know why. I couldn't blog about most of my experiences in England for 2 reasons. 1) I planned to surprise my mom by randomly showing up on her door step which instantly turned her into a big sloppy mess. she started balling the second she saw me and didn't stop for quite a while. I loved it :-p The second reason is because Jay and I were living with a violent psychopath. We knew that Trevor had BIG issues but none of us realized how deep his problems go. He spent a long time lieing to us and making our lives a living hell. At one point it got soo bad that Jay snapped and actually punched him in the head. He needs help and I failed to help him because I wasn't interested in him the way he wanted me to be. He blamed me for feeling the way he does. He's good at that. He blames everyone and everything for his actions but himself. I feel very sorry for him. Jay and I did end up meeting some absolutely amazing people while there. Surprisingly they were all Trevor's friends or ex-friends. If anything it was that that made me realize how fucked up this guy really is. There are a herd of really amazing people around him at all times who he treats like absolute shit. I realized early on that it would take an amazing person to deal with this racist, bigoted, ugly person. I spent WAY too much time, energy and emotion trying to help him and he let everyone down. I gave him MORE then enough opportunity to redeem himself but he just kept letting us down and lieing to us and promising things that he had no intention of fulfilling. He could have whipped away all of the ill Will with only a few strategic events but hes too sick to realise what he had.I refuse to waste any more of my time on him. I'm glad to be home and I'm glad that I never have to see him or hear from him again. Maybe someday when he's gotten himself some professional help and realizes that the world he lives in is violently wrong maybe then but I will not hold my breath. I expect nothing more then for him to spend the rest of his life sad and alone.

The second we landed on American soil we had the most amazing luck. the day after we secured an amazing apartment in a great location for crazy cheap. It has more then enough room for Kirnan, Jay and myself. Of course because of our grossly misguided faith in our move to England we ended up selling or giving away almost all of our possessions so we had nothing to move in. but that only lasted a few days. There are some amazing people out there who are willing to selflessly give to help out a friend or family member. We now have everything we need to be vary comfortable here. A NICE couch a bed big enough for the 3 of us, Internet and TV. The only thing we're lacking is money. None of us have ever been this poor before. We have very little food and JUST enough money for gas to and from Kirnans work. Its depressing but we cant do much about it at the time being. I love this apartment though. Once we get on our feet we have plans to get a 50" HDTV flat panel for above our beautiful fireplace. Once we all start working again we'll have enough money to live very comfortably but till then we're hurtin.

Oh BTW if anyone decides to go to England under no circomstances should you ship anything with a company called Intercargo. This is how our shit showed up. Luckily someone up there was watching out for us and smiling on us so nothing was destroyed too much....The white box in the back is my $3600.00 computer